Why You Fear Public Speaking

Are you afraid because of the spotlight? Maybe a lack of confidence when all eyes are on you? Most people approach public speaking like they’re trying to pass a test. Memorize the lines. Say everything perfectly. Don’t mess up. Don’t shake. Don’t ramble. Don’t look nervous.

The problem with this approach is that it focuses on being perfect every time. That isn’t sustainable. The most effective communicators you know aren’t perfect, are they? They do make mistakes, the difference is that you rarely notice it.

After teaching more than 1,000 technical professionals (many of which were afraid to present in front of 10 people) how to become confident communicators, I’ve uncovered that this fear mostly comes from being misunderstood, overlooked, or judged. The paralyzing fear of having to be perfect over and over.

Childhood photo

I face this as a young 5-year-old child, struggling to speak English because of a speech impediment. I couldn’t take the thoughts in my head and verbalize them. I feel different from my friends and classmates, seeing how they’re normal and I’m not. It takes me years to overcome this hurdle, just to even speak at the same level as my classmates. My communication turning point comes when in my adulthood when I learn about leadership storytelling. It’s a full circle moment when communication turns into my greatest strength.

The most impactful communicators aren’t the best because they’re flawless. They make you feel something, and storytelling is the most effective way to make them feel.

Why Leadership Storytelling Shrinks Fear

When you’re stuck in fear, you focus almost entirely on yourself. Your voice. Your appearance. Your mistakes. Your performance. Those are all important, but unhealthy when it’s 100% of your focus.

What I love most about leadership storytelling is that it shifts the spotlight outward. Your attention goes from “What will they think of me?” to “What would help them understand? See the difference? Connection over perfection.

Storytelling shrinks fear in three distinct ways:

1. It gives your audience something tangible. Something real that they can remember and grab onto. Data and statistics can be easily forgotten without a compelling story.

   
   

2. It grounds you. You’re most confident speaking about yourself and your experiences. You are the expert of your life.

   
   

3. It clarifies your message. 90 seconds maximum is all you need to tell an impactful story with a logical structure for the audience and speaker to follow along.

A Simple Framework You Can Start Using Today

I teach this formula to engineers, executives, and job seekers who think they don’t have any good stories. They do. You do too. Here’s how to start your journey.

Content + Structure + Delivery = Impactful Story

• Content

  • Start by documenting your life-defining moments. It’s essential to know the ups and downs that shaped the person you are today. For each, write a key message or takeaway so you remember its meaning.

• Structure

  • Structure organizes your story so your audience can logically follow along. Without it, your story is just a jumble of ideas. A clear beginning that catches attention, a middle that describes the conflict, and an ending that describes the outcome and lesson.

• Delivery

  • Delivery is how you bring your story to life through your words, vocal variety, and body language. It’s the most challenging part of this formula, but one that takes practice and patience. Remember, 90 seconds is all you need. When you practice, record yourself and make notes to continue improving. When you are communicating meaning through feelings and emotions, your body language and paralinguistics (how you say words) contribute 93% of the impact. 7% comes from the words alone.

Overcoming Public Speaking Fear

Overcoming a fear of public speaking by anchoring yourself. When you walk onto a stage — whether it’s a boardroom or job interview, know that you don’t need to be perfect. You’re showing up to connect with your audience’s hearts and minds.

Building your storytelling skills will naturally make you a better public speaker. In doing so, the fear will become less paralyzing. You may even enjoy it like I do.

Until next time, keep your stories alive.

David Ghodsizadeh is the founder of Storytelling 4 Success, a business that teaches technical professionals and executives how to connect, lead, and inspire in the workplace through leadership storytelling. Everyone has a story to tell. Do you know how, why, where, and when to tell yours?